I have a very yoda-like philosophy about life. And I’m going to share it with you now.
“Do or do not… there is no try.”
When someone tells me that they are going to do ___________ (and it’s some intangible resolution such as lose weight, quit smoking, or start playing the banjo), I nod and smile politely, but inside, I’m thinking Yeah, right. Because in my mind, you either ARE doing those things, or you aren’t. I’m exercising, not I’m going to exercise. I’m taking banjo lessons, not I’m going to take banjo lessons. I’ve quit smoking. You get the picture. Because there is always some unspoken clause at the end of that statement that they don’t say. I’m going to exercise when I get the time. I’m going to take banjo lessons when I get the money. I’m going to quit smoking when I feel like I can handle it.
The truth is, it’s never a good time. You can always find reasons in your life to not do something. It boils down to what you really WANT to do. Do you really want to quit smoking, or are people pressuring you to? Because in the end, the only time people really follow through is when THEY want it.
I’m not talking about having to save up money to go on a trip or work towards a goal. But Yoda said it best. You are either working toward a goal, or you aren’t. There’s no “trying” to work towards it! And that’s why I’m going to write down some of the goals and resolutions that I am working towards. Why wait till New Years?
- Having better flexibility and balance. When my Bikram challenge is over, I’ll post some pictures of my progress on this goal. I’m still nowhere near where I hope to be someday, but I’ve seen definite improvement in myself! While I’ll still fall out of poses, I can stay in them for longer, and go into them deeper. I can still be an off-balance klutz sometimes, but that’s OK. This is a lifelong goal, and one that I definitely don’t want to rush (my aching knee can attest to that). But it feels good to be actively working on it and seeing progress!
- Running a Half Marathon. When my Bikram month is up, I’m going to take a month-long break. This will allow me to save up for another two months of yoga and start something new! I’ve missed running, and I feel like I always have an excuse not to go. So October will be my running month. The weather will be nicer and I’m trying to hook up with running buddies. I want to run some 5ks in October and work on my speed and endurance. I don’t know when I’ll be able to run a half-marathon, but it’s a long-term goal that I know I’ll someday achieve.
- Having more control over my diet. Generally, I don’t think I eat poorly. But sometimes, I think i can be out of control with my eating. There is a difference. I need to learn how to have a healthy relationship with food, where I can allow myself to indulge without feeling horrible guilt and/or going into a food frenzy. It’s not about eating healthy ALL THE TIME. It’s about not letting food have control over me. Sometimes, I don’t want to eat, and I know I don’t need to eat, and I’m not even hungry, but I just can’t stop eating. It doesn’t even matter what I’m eating. It’s happened less over the years, but it still happens, and when it does I can’t stop myself. It’s a terrible feeling that I hope to conquer someday.
- Improving my climbing technique. While I’d like to be able to climb a 10, mostly I just want to improve my technique. I want to be able to climb 9’s without falling or relying on the rope. So far, I’ve really seen improvement! I can climb some difficult 8s or easy 9s flawlessly, and it always feels so good to have completed a climb without falling or resting once. It really can depend on the climb, though– there are some 8’s that I still can’t do, even if I rest a bunch!
- Losing 10lbs and be done with weight loss. I want to weigh somewhere between 130-135. Right now I weigh between 138-140. I’m so close to my final goal that I just want to get it done! I know that this is a somewhat controversial goal and that weight loss doesn’t equal healthy or beautiful. But it’s one that is important to me. I think that if I completed goals 1-4, it would just happen naturally. So, it’s something I’m aware of, but it’s more of a motivator to stay on track with my other goals as well. It’s a tangible reminder of slacking off on potentially intangible results, and it helps me stay on track. So, that being said, I do have one last goal.
- Having more confidence and a more positive body image. This is huge for me. I think that even if I completed all of the above goals, I would still think of myself as a failure if I didn’t also work on this. I was a fat kid and was teased all the time. I never was active and was always chunky and sensitive about it. I’ve always had low self-esteem. Over the years, I’ve tried to tell myself that I’ve made so much progress, that I look good, that I’m healthy, but I still have devastating moments where all I can see are my glaring flaws. At some point, I have to understand and accept that no amount of weight loss will repair my damaged self-esteem. That has to be internally, and it should be something I work on more actively. My friends and family have been very supportive and patient with me about this, thankfully. It’s something that has slowly but surely improved, and it is something I think about a lot.
So, what are your goals? How are you working towards them?