So I haven’t updated this in a while, but lately I’ve really missed having a place to talk about all this ish.
17 months and 2 days ago, I gave birth to a super adorable, sweet, amazing little girl who is the absolute best. Here’s photographic proof of how amazing she is:
Before getting pregnant, I used to fantasize about having a big ol’ preggo belly. I couldn’t wait to have a tummy to rub all the time while I glowed like a pregnant goddess.
I have to imagine that I’m not the only one to find my idyllic goddess pregnancy fantasy turn out to be a lot more like heartburn, weight gain, swollen feet, and more weight gain. I had this annoying if I don’t eat I feel nauseous thing, and by the end of the first trimester, I had gained the recommended weight gain for the entire pregnancy.
Miss Eleanor arrived a week late, and by that time, I had gained about 90lbs, clocking in at 256lbs at my heaviest. Two weeks after giving birth, I weighed in at 238lbs. Nursing was a struggle, and anyone who says that the weight will fly off while nursing deserves the angriest mom evil eye I can muster. It doesn’t. Nothing flies off. N-o-t-h-i-n-g. It’s only been through blood, sweat, tears, that I weigh 199lbs now (and yes, that one pound is fucking important, ask anyone who has ever lost weight).
I don’t recognize my body. Facebook reminds me daily with “On This Day” of what I used to look like (thanks Facebook), and it’s been difficult for me to come to terms with this new “me.” I’m continuing to exercise and “diet”*, especially because I’d like to be in a healthier place before we try for baby 2. But I’ve also got some mad respect for my body right now.
First of all, it birthed another human being and then fed it for 9 months. That alone is pretty amazing. But now that I’m working out again, I am ridiculously impressed with the things I can still do. For instance, I can sustain a 5mph+ run for 2 miles. Yeah, that’s slower than what I used to do, but I’ve got 50 extra pounds strapped to me. I don’t know if I could have done that before with 50 pounds strapped to my body.
The same goes for climbing. Sure, I can only climb 5.8s, and I can’t do underhang walls clean, but I think it’s kind of incredible that I can climb anything.
So, sure, my body is a work in progress. And I don’t feel as sexy as I used to, and I have to buy a bunch of new clothing, and I don’t always love what I see in the mirror.
But at the same time, damn body. Thanks for everything you do. I’m trying hard to treat you better. I promise to be kinder to you while you house baby 2.
*Diet rant: “it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle.” I hear this and other anti-diet stuff a LOT, and I sort of hate it with a fiery passion, and not just because it is preachy tripe that seems designed to just make people feel bad. Yeah, yeah, it’s true: eating “healthfully” is a lifestyle choice. But the truth is, you can eat “healthfully” and not lose any weight**. So, if your goal is to lose weight, you have to, in some way, shape, or form, restrict your caloric intake, which is obviously not how you should eat forever. There are lots of ways (aka diets) to do this–high fat, high protein, paleo, keto, south beach, Atkins, low fat, whole foods, macros, bla bla bla bla. And some are more “healthy” than others (if you think eating processed foods is unhealthy). Personally, I prefer to eat low carb, high protein, and moderate fats, while eating whole unprocessed foods as much as possible. I have trouble with portion control, so I prefer to cut carbs and sugars, which can have a lot of empty calories. Yes, this is a diet, because I still have to monitor my caloric intake while doing it. No, it is not THE diet. If you end up restricting calories, and your goal is weight loss, ANY diet will work. Just find whatever works best for you. If you want to read more about this, with science and stuff, check here: The Best Fat Loss Article on the Motherfucking Internet
**Weight loss rant: No one can or should tell you what to do with your body, provided you aren’t intentionally causing self harm. Do what feels right and good for your body, and fuck anyone who tries to tell you to do or feel something that you don’t. Yes, body positivity movement, I’m looking at you.
I’m super excited about Octonauts, which I would have loved if I were a kid. As far as I can tell so far, the basic premise is a bunch of weird land mammals live underwater and go on adventures to rescue ocean animals. Also, the Creature Report song will DEFINITELY get stuck in your head.
My favorite character is Professor Inkling Octopus because he is the stuff of nightmares:
However, husbando said his favorite character is Kwazii Kitten because he has definitely seen some shit: